Diary of a Henchman
by GrinGrin
Summary: How exactly does one become a Henchman?
1. Week 1, Day 1

_I do not own Kim Possible._

**Diary of a Henchman**

**Offer**

Yeah, I'm not getting out of this one. Not with my record.

Sooooo… yeah. Shit.

* * *

Boredom is not nice. At all. I've been this cell for not even a day yet, and I'm already bored to tears. It really was the worst thing. You know, except cancer. And torture. And starving. Dying of thirst. Wa-

Wow. My brain is weird when it's bored.

* * *

Something new. The guard – Carl – just brought me a letter. Maybe something more. Gonna put it in here later, when I've read it some more.

* * *

_Mr Wilson_

_You've recently come to our attention as a promising candidate for our training program._

_Candidates who accept this offer undergo a basic training course before being employed by various qualified individuals to use your newly acquired skills to earn a living. _

_Your sentence would also be considerably shortened. How short? AS long as it takes our human resource officers to arrive to your location._

_If you have any questions, feel free to ask the representative that gave you this message._

_We look forward to adding you to our family._

_Beverly Austin_

_Department of Human Resources_

_HC_

* * *

AN: So yeah… another experimental ficlet. Like I didn't have enough on my plate *facepalm* Damn my muse.

Anyway… This will most follow the character's journey into becoming and during his career as a henchman. I've wanted to do a KP fic for a while now, so yeah. It's gonna be _really _short chapters, for the most part, and the vast majority will centre around this OC.

For the record? OC's are HUGELY useful. Didn't really realise how much so until I started writing. But it's still an OC. Let me know if it's going into Marty Sue territory. I don't think it'll go quite that badly, but you never know. And you're gonna be stuck with Mr Wilson for a while, methinks.

And to just give you an idea, I've done a rough outline if the first **9** **weeks**.

Yeah.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS – First PM or Review that figures out where the letter came from gets to name the character. Tis not difficult to figure out. Just, **please**, a nice normal name. No puns, no 'badass' names, just something you'd hear on the streets (also, Slade and Wade are not allowed, for rather obvious reasons).

Written: 29/05/2014

Posted: 29/05/2014


	2. Week 1, Day 2

_I do not own Kim Possible._

**Diary of a Henchman**

**Ruminations**

What the fuck.

No way is this legit. No way on this earth. A literal get out of jail card?

Fuck. Not like I have anything to lose right now. At least talking to Carl would be better than just being bored.

* * *

Well, he certainly seems to believe it. Which is actually kinda worse. Means I'm either dealing with a madman or I've drawn the attention of some really scary people.

From what I understood, they really weren't kidding about anything in that little job offer(?) of theirs.

'Carl' is an employee of this 'HC' (what does it stand for anyway?) and a graduate of the same training I've been scoped for. Oh god, I'm being headhunted. Ain't that a laugh?

If this guy is actually honest, that would be something. He's really enthusiastic. Scarily so. 'Turned my life around' here and 'changed the way I saw the world' there. It's like he's hooked up to batteries. He just doesn't stop. Like the Energizer bunny from Hell.

And damn it all if it isn't starting to sound better and better than these walls.

* * *

Still… I've essentially no fucking idea what's actually being offered. For all his talk, 'Carl' actually says very little. I'm gonna have to ask some pointed questions before anything else happens.

* * *

AN: So yeah. Like I said, planned it out a lot, so I've got an idea where this is going, so I can write faster. Not like these chapters are very long. The chapter length will probably improve around week two or so.

Oh yeah, each chapter is essentially one day, unless specified otherwise. I'm avoiding dates purely for selfish reasons (read, don't wanna struggle with Seasons and related crap in the Northern Hemisphere, as I'm from the Southern).

Anyway…

The OC's name is now officially George Wilson, thanks to Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, who was also the first reviewer to guess what the HC stood for.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 29/05/2014

Posted: 29/05/2014


	3. Week 1, Day 3

_I do not own Kim Possible._

**Diary of a Henchman**

**Questions**

Okay well… I've had some time to sleep on it and I've thought of some rather pressing issues.

Is this legal? Most likely not, but I need to find out how much can be blamed on me. I've honestly got enough on my plate at the moment, so this is rather important.

Okay, other than that, I need to go to basic. Why am I qualified? What's the pay? Where? Job security? Bunch of little things like that.

Damn insomnia. It's gonna be a while before 'Carl' comes round.

* * *

Huh. Well. I don't even know anymore.

When I asked if whatever they were gonna do is legal, he busted out laughing. He answered, and I quote: "Absolutely fucking not." Joy.

But I couldn't get in trouble for it neither. According to him, due to some technical legal mumbo-jumbo, I'm not so much escaping prison than being kidnapped out of it. Don't know how that works, but at least it should give me some leeway if I was caught again or whatever.

As for pay and job security… Well, judging by what little Carl could tell me, it was pretty damn good. He told me what he got paid. I whistled. Yeah. That much.

Then he went on to tell me where he's worked. Not cities or states, fucking countries. Good ol' US of A, but also Canada, Brazil, Madagascar, Australia (which is a really scary place, according to him), Greenland, Russia and a bunch of others that I can't remember now.

That much money over that many places? Looking better and better, not gonna lie.

And he's been doing it for just under two decades now. That sounds rather nice, actually, all things considered.

Especially since I'm seeing the judge tomorrow.

Fuck.

* * *

AN: Not much to say for this one, to be honest.

But, he's gonna be out by day 7.

In the meantime, read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 15/06/2014

Posted: 16/06/2014


	4. Week 1, Day 4-6

_I do not own Kim Possible._

**Diary of a Henchman**

**Catching Up**

Okay, so it's been a crazy couple of days, so I've kinda been neglecting this. But hell, I started it, so I may as well continue. Besides, it's kinda cathartic, writing everything down.

Long story short, I'm now out of jail. YES!

So here's the story…

* * *

Day 3, BB (Before Breakout)

So I went to see the judge again. It was supposed to be an opportunity for me to give some final testimony before I was sentenced. But the police had found a trump card.

Fucking Paulie.

He'd squealed in turn for a reduced sentence.

Bastard.

So anyway… I basically got convicted then and there, with the pointless promise of having another hearing in two days time…

Not like it was gonna do me any good.

Didn't see Carl the whole day and the normal guards really just didn't give a shit, so I had no-one to vent to.

I remember thinking when everything gone to hell. Course, I knew the answer.

* * *

Day 2, BB

Even my lawyer thought I was screwed. I think if he could get away with it, he'd have handed me a bottle of lube right then. To 'ease the process' indeed.

He's a fink, sure, but the man knew his stuff… I was seriously considering just pleading guilty in the hopes of a lighter sentence.

Hell, wasn't like I'd get life. I was just the look-out. What was the penalty for that anyway? Should probably just ask Jeff, he'd know.

Still. I was likely to get a year, at least. And a year when you're barely into your twenties? Seems like a long time, don't it?

Not how I thought that heist was gonna end, that much was for sure.

* * *

Day 1 BB

I'll admit, I was a giant idiot those couple of days. But that all changed.

See, I finally realized I had the answer right here, in this book. That little letter.

My get-out-of-jail-free card.

But damnit. I still didn't know enough. Still so many questions. But not enough time.

Hah! That's always the problem isn't it? Time.

Time was not my friend. Not then, not now, not ever.

So I finally told Carl it was go-time.

* * *

AN: Yeah, broke this up into two chapters, mostly because I'm too lazy to finish it right now.

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 06/07/2014

Posted: 06/07/2014


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